That suicide vest makes you look fat

Like we learned from the Black Widows, no longer is martyrdom reserved for the males. A Newsweek story reports that Al Qaeda and others have begun recruiting women for suicide bombing missions. Since 72 virgins wouldn't exactly serve as an apt reward, they are instead promised that women martyrs would "become the purest and most beautiful form of angel at the highest level possible in heaven." Even purer and more beautiful than those schoolchidren she just blew to bits?