Top 5 things to do this July 4th

Why only 5? Cause the man wants to deprive me of 10.

5. Burn a flag (any ol' flag will do)

4. Marry a person who shares your gender

3. Get an abortion in South Dakota

2. Play an ultra-violent video game

1. Call a friend in Syria and tell him he really missed out on last night's party since it was "the bomb" and that all the participants "declared jihad on sobriety" while simultaneously withdrawing funds from a secret bank account in Algeria.

It's time once again to celebrate freedom and liberty in America!

Think!
Think!
It aint illegal yet!
- George Clinton